Rejection is a terrifying word for many. So much so that the fear of rejection alone is enough o stop great minds from pursuing their goals. The truth is that no one will have lived their lives without experiencing rejection at least once and no one can be successful without having overcome a great many rejections. So what do successful people do differently? And how come that some people just seem to not to be bothered by the rejection at all?
No one will have lived their lives without experiencing rejection at least once and no one can be successful without having overcome a great many rejections.
There are numerous techniques to cope with rejection and every person will have their own ‘recipe’ for success. Below are 4 bulletproof tips that I have personally come across while coaching great entrepreneurs and sales people. Now you too can take advantage of them.
Stop identifying yourself with the product
It often happens that we identify ourselves with the product we sell, especially if we feel passionate about it. Similar to when we support our football team. You can hear people saying: “we beat them,” when in reality the person was watching TV at home and no physical violence was involved. It happens because we identify ourselves with the team. They become us, an extension of our self-identification. It helps in setting the company vision or building the passionate team of like-minded people but it can backfire in the case of rejection. Identifying ourselves with the product is often the reason why we take rejections so personally.
By taking yourself out of the equation, you will realise that a lot of your emotional responses are unnecessary.
The first thing one can do to unpick the chain of negative emotions linked to the rejection is to realise that you are not ‘your product’ or ‘your business’. You are so much more than that… And the product or service you sell – even if you saw it developed from the start – is only part of you; perhaps not even the main part. By taking yourself out of the equation, you will realise that a lot of your emotional responses are unnecessary.
Stop seeking for approval
Everyone wants their product to be able to solve real issues for the customers and every successful product does just that. But there is a world of difference between offering the best service or product and searching for approval of your performance, values or integrity.
It’s true that if someone has serious doubts about your integrity, they are likely to reject your services. However, not every rejection is the result of such doubts.
Take control over your own life and refuse to be over-concerned about what people are thinking of you.
Everyone is entitled to their own reasons for not needing your services right now. From having already invested in similar services with another supplier to simply having a bad day – you are not the only one who can have ‘one of those days’.
Rejection of a product or a service is not a personal attack. It is not that we did something wrong or are lacking in some way. It is about the product or service that was not the right fit for that particular person at that time.
Take control over your own life and refuse to be over-concerned about what people are thinking of you. In reality, most people are not thinking about you at all; it is likely they too spend their time worrying about what you think of them.
Think of your purpose
Let’s admit it, everything we do in life we do with some purpose in mind; a greater goal perhaps or a life mission. This mission is greater than the short-term or long-term goals and represents something that nurtures us through life and ‘keeps us going’. Although this is an obvious statement, we tend to ‘misalign’ with the purpose or even forget to consider what is our life mission.
In a context of the greater mission, one particular rejection is likely to become insignificant.
Next time you struggle to cope with the rejection, think of your purpose for being where you are. If you are a sales person, hitting your monthly targets is probably not your life mission but a short-term goal. If you are a business owner, making sure your business is successful is likely not a life purpose but means to achieve the freedom or recognition or whatever inspires you.
In a context of the greater mission, one particular rejection is likely to become insignificant. Thinking long-term will also give you a fresh perspective and clearer vision.
Shifting focus from how you feel about the rejection to what made the potential prospect reject your services is a great way to turn ‘bad pitch’ around. Pay attention to their behaviour and listen to their feedback. Keep in mind that the feedback is related to the particular product and not you personally.
Ask them more questions about the concerns they have over the service or a product. Ask them what tools are they currently using to tackle the issues you can solve for them. Enquire if they are completely happy with their current service provider. Encourage them to be open and bear in mind that your goal is not to change their mind but to understand the market. The more you know, the easier it will become to establish the rapport in the future.